


I’ll leave a light on

by IfOnlyICouldFlyAway



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Married Couple, Multi, Pseudo-Incest, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:49:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfOnlyICouldFlyAway/pseuds/IfOnlyICouldFlyAway
Summary: Because there’ll be no sunlight if I lose you





	1. Chapter 1

The proposal had been beautiful. At least that’s what everyone had said when they got a chance to dance with her. “I cried throughout it all because of how beautiful it was!”, jan had said- one of Diego’s close friends from the department. He of course, had thanked her with a gleaming smile- something that he rarely did.

But that beautiful and sunny day hadn’t been just any other day: it had been the day that he had proposed to vanya during the suprise birthday party his friends had planned. so it wasn’t a suprise to anyone as he lead her to the dance floor with the same smile. 

* * *

 

Not many people had been invited seeing as they didn’t _know_ many people or had many friends. But that had been fine with Diego, he had even said something along the lines of “would be better without people”. Vanya didn’t comment, only nodding along as she wrote her siblings names onto the pearly white invitation cards. 

As Diego took the seat opposite of her, he took a swig of his beer and stared at the invitation cards sprawled out on their dinner table. After a second of staring, he snorted and reached over to pick up one of the invitations with the name ‘Luther’ written on it in neat cursive letters. Setting his beer to the side, he flipped open the card and read aloud the contents inside “it would make us truly happy” he began, “if you joined our family for the union of Diego and vanya hargreeves. To see you again in such a long time would be a gift”. He stared at the card in utter disbelief as he trailed off, his eyes wandering over to vanya who sat silently writing the next card to Allison. 

“Baby” he murmured. Vanya didn’t spare him a glance and only hummed in reply. Diego rolled his eyes fondly and tried again, “baby”. Vanya hummed louder, her head nodding as if saying ‘yes I heard you, what do you want’. He held up the card and looked at her with a pointed look “a gift?” He said with a tone of disbelief. Finally she let out a tiny sigh and set Allison’s card down onto the table and looked up at him with an unimpressed look. “Yes Diego, a gift”. 

Diego spluttered and waved his hands around, “he doesn’t even like us vanya”. She only rested her cheek on her hand and stared at him in silence- much to Diego’s annoyance.

“Do you remember what he got you for Christmas? Do you? A coupon for Costco, vanya!”. Yes, she definitely remembered. He had handed her a crumpled envelope which he had pulled out from his back pocket. At the time she thought it might have been a joke as she pulled out an even more crumpled coupon for cheese. Instead of saying anything, she only shrugged and tiredly asked “and?”.

Diego stared at her for a moment as if she had grown a second head. “It was expired vanya, and not by a day or two but by two years!”.

Three actually, but Vanya wasn’t going to say anything, she didn’t want to hear another rant about why Luther was an idiot. She picked up Allison’s invitation again and continued to write, “well” she mumbled, “you would have rather I written ‘you’re an ass and we hate you’?”. Diego leaned back into his chair and shrugged, mimicking her prior actions. “Well atleast you would of been honest..and how are we even gonna give it to him...pretty sure there’s no space fedix” He said begrudgingly. 

Vanya only rolled her eyes before she handed him a different invitation, “this ones for Klaus” she explained when he stared at it as if it was going to attack him. He nodded after a moment and took it between his fingers, uncapping a pen to write down a few words. He thought of what to write, maybe he’d make a joke or something, in the end however, he only wrote ‘we miss you’. 

Tucking the card into its envelope, Diego looked up to see vanya leaning into her chair, her fingers lightly tapping her wine glass as she stared into the distance distractedly. He looked away from her small frame and back down at the envelope, his eyebrows furrowing when he noticed that there was no address.

“Baby” he mumbled, “why is there no address?”. 

Vanya snapped back and turned to look at Diego, her eyes falling to the envelope in his hands. “Oh” she said finally. “I couldn’t find any”. As if that explained anything, thought Diego. 

“I...” vanya trailed off. She looked as if she was deciding whether to say something or not.  Shaking her head she fully turned her body to face him, pulling her knees up so she could place her chin in between. “I checked all the rehab centers, but none of them had any record of him so I called mom”. 

Diego waited for her to continue, reaching over to take her small hand into his larger one, running a finger over her ring. “She said that the last time she saw him, he had gone off with a boyfriend of his”. She finished with a  small voice. 

Diego nodded, Klaus never really stayed in one place for too long. He didn’t blame him, Klaus- like the rest of the siblings- grew up in a house where they were constantly pushed past their limit and were forced to do things they didn’t want to. Klaus would never admit to have a problem, but it wasn’t hard to tell seeing as he was always babbling distractedly and constantly scratching his skin nervously. When everyone else had left, klaus stayed behind with grace, pogo and reginald. Vanya, unlike the rest, would visit him and bring him his favorite food that she would make where he was sad: chicken soup. 

Vanya would open the front door and come face to face with her least favorite person in the entire world, Reginald. Many times she considered just leaving, but she was doing this for klaus she would remind herself. So she’d give him a tight smile and walk upstairs to klaus room carrying the small container with care. 

Klaus would lean on vanya and eat his chicken soup, he knew that grace could make it too, whenever he wanted it even. But it was different with vanya’s soup. Apart from it being delicious, it gave him an excuse to see his twin on a daily basis. It gave him an excuse to have her in his room giving him comfort just as she had when they were children. It gave him an excuse to be around her without being a burden.

Vanya would then of course, have to leave, but not without tucking him in and placing a kiss on his forehead and telling him how much she loved him. He wanted to believe her that he wasn’t a bother in her life, that she always wanted him around and that he was a great brother...but he couldn’t. He saw the pity in her eyes when she felt how thin and fragile he was. She never said anything, instead she would bring him some clothes that she thought he’d like.

_”oh that reminds me!”._

_Vanya scrambled off the small bed and shuffled over to the bag that was hidden beneath her purse. She threw her purse without care, smiling when she heard klaus snort in amusement behind her. She turned to him and handed him the bag shyly._

_“ I remember how much you used to love shopping at Spencer’s-“._

_”you called it hell on earth if I Remember correctly”._

_vanya playfully slapped his knee and then kissed his cheek when he pouted and mumbled “child abuse”._

_“- And so I figured I’d buy you some nice clothes”._

_Klaus pretended to wipe away a tear and with a high pitched tone said “awe you love me”._

_“Of course I do”._

_klaus pulled out a few shirts that he recognized being from some of his favorite bands. A few jeans that had pretty patterns all over them, some with sequins while others had feathers._

_He loved all of them. He told her so._

_Vanya gleamed at that and pulled out a final article of clothing. “This ones from Diego” she explained when he unfolded the blanket soft sweater that had a bunny print on the front and ‘cute but crazy..but cute’ written on the back._

_His heart warmed at the fact that his siblings had actually thought about him. Then a realization hit him. He turned to her with a grin. “Oh you were with Diego?”._

_Vanya blushed but nodded. “Yeah um, we uh wanted to get you something nice”._

_Klaus grin turned into a genuine smile, he was happy that his sister was finally getting the love that she deserved._

_“Weeell” he drawled. “I’m glad that you’re finally getting yourself back out there. Ever since-“._

_vanya cut him off, “we’re just hanging out klaus”._

_His eyes softened at that, she was still denying it, even after so long, “it’s okay to move on you know?”._

_Her shoulders slumped at that, her eyes becoming watery as her hand reached up to grab at the necklace around her neck._

_”I don’t know if I want to” she whispered, afraid. Of course she was, she still loved the boy that had disappeared years ago. She was well aware that she had to move on, that it was stupid to hold on when clearly he wasn’t coming back._

_klaus understood. So instead of saying anything, he reached behind vanya and grabbed a few miniature bottles. Holding them up his grin came back, “wanna paint my nails?”._

_Vanya could never say no._

* * *

 

Vanya hummed quietly as she poured soup into a small container, the usual one that had Mickey Mouse drawn on sloppily with a sharpie. She could hear Diego talking on the phone with one of his close friends from the department, Jan she remembered, but from the way he was arguing, she doubted it was her. Jan was an angel in her eyes. 

She placed the pot into the dishwasher and turned back to the container to close it and tuck it inside a bag. Hissing when a few drops fell onto her arm. “Probably should’ve waited” she mumbled. 

Vanya wiped off the drops with a napkin and walked back to the living room with the bag in hand. Setting it aside she sat down on the small love seat and let herself relax against the soft pillows, her head dropping back with a content sigh. 

“I know- okay yes I did but- patch..patch come on!”. 

Ah, so that’s who he was arguing with, mused vanya. She knew who ‘patch’ was, her actual name was Eudora but Diego liked to refer to people by their last names. Eudora was this beautiful and quite scary woman who used to be Diego’s girlfriend back when he was in the police academy. Vanya never minded when she came over to have dinner with them, if anything she was happy to have company while they both trash talked Diego. 

Vanya let his voice become background noise, she didn’t really care much about what he had to say. Most likely he was at her crime scene again and took out the bad guys in the no so legal way..again. Instead she looked around their living room, taking in the ‘hominess’ of the place. Her eyes drifted around the room heavily before stopping on a small frame hidden behind the large bouquet of Lillie’s that Diego had brought her a few days ago. 

Don’t look, her mind whispered. But she was already getting up and walking across the room to carefully move the flowers to the side and shakily pick up the frame.

Her eyes were slow as they inspected the young face on the frame, the perfect hair, the beautiful eyes and the cocky attitude in that smirk. Five. Vanya let out a breath and flipped the frame over, and of course, there it was. 

The necklace that five had given her. 

Her fingers hovered over the taped down jewelry, her hand shaking. 

_Vanya didn’t say anything, she only stared._

_”why are you looking at me like that?”._

_vanya shook her head trying to form her words before she would spit out something stupid._

_“I just...I don’t know”._

_okay well that hadn’t worked, the stupid came out anyway._

_five snorted and took the small box from her hands. “You don’t like it?”._

_vanya’s eyes widened at that. “what? No! I mean yes, wait just..ugh, I love it five, I’m just curious”._

_Five arched a brow at that. “Curious? What for? I got you a gift, that simple vanya”._

_she rolled her eyes and pinched him, earning a soft smack to the arm. “I’m curious because you hate everyone”._

_”yeah duh, everyone but you idiot”._

_”okay well thanks then...it’s beautiful”._

_Five remained quiet at that, the tips of his ears becoming red as his face flushed. Vanya couldn’t help herself as she threw herself over him and hugged him, a giggle escaping her lips when he whined and tried swatting her away._

Vanya flipped the frame back around and smiled sadly at his picture, “I miss you” she whispered. Her finger tracing his features with a soft touch. She could almost hear him whine that she was ‘too touchy’, he probably would’ve tried to smack her hand away as he always had in the past. Vanya knew that he secretly liked it though, the way he would relax under her touch when she ran her fingers through his hair and sigh in content when she massaged his tense shoulders.

”ready to go? Sorry patch was mad at me again for-“. 

Vanya didn’t hear the rest as she nearly dropped the frame, she cleared her throat and hid the frame again behind the bouquet.

Thankfully, Diego was again distractedly still ranting on as he tucked a few knives into his boot. She pat down her sun dress and walked over to him, grabbing her purse and the meal bag off the table. Diego finally looked up at her and whistled, standing up he towered over her. Of course he did, while stood at 6’2, she was stuck at 5’1. Even with heels she was still at 5’4. 

Diego wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned down for a kiss, smiling against her lips as she tried to stand on her tiptoes. She smacked his shoulder playfully and he could barely hold back his laughter, wrapping another arm around her and picking her up as if she were lighter than a feather. He looked up at her as if she were his world, in a sense, she was. He told her anything and everything, and he trusted her with his life, yes they had their differences when the book was released, but together they had gotten past that. 

“I love you” he mumbled against her lips. She smiled and brought him back into another kiss, this one longer than the last one. Once they parted did she finally say it back, soft and tenderly as if the phrase alone would shatter the world. “I love you too” she whispered into his ear, running a finger down the scar on the side of his head. 

Diego beamed up at her and let her back down, her heels clicking as they hit the floor. 

“Now let’s go pay klaus a visit”.

”stop saying that like we’re going to murder him”. 

__

* * *

 

Klaus was in fact, still klaus. 

When they arrived at the rehab center, the man at the front had rolled his eyes with such force that Diego threatened to tenderize his head if he did that again. That earned him a pinch from vanya, who only gave him a look when he yelped. 

The guy, who’s name was Patrick, lead them into a small and cramped room that only had a fold up table and four dirty fold up chairs. Patrick had opened the door and sarcastically said in a monotone voice, “tada! Welcome to fairy land”. Diego was ready to fulfill his promise when vanya only sweetly smiled and thanked the man, who blushed and nodded, informing them that klaus would be brought in a few moments. With that, the man was gone.

vanya took a seat while Diego paced around the room, grumbling that the placed smelled like the bathroom of a club full of crackheads who’s parents had disowned them at nine. Vanya placed the container on the table and nervously thumbed at the pearly white invitation in her lap. Both their heads snapped up when the door opened and a thin, lanky klaus walked in flirting with the nurse before noticing who was in the room. 

“Oh” he let out. 

Vanya placed the invitation to the side and stood up with a smile on her face, walking over to wrap her arms around him. Klaus snapped out of his trance and hugged her back as tightly as he could, which mind you, wasn’t very tight. He took in the smell of her hair and was delighted to learn that she still used the same strawberry shampoo. She was still as short as ever, but still as beautiful as the last time he had seen her. 

“Vanya” he breathed out. She pulled back to inspect his face, her small hands coming up to cup his face and frown when seeing the bags beneath his eyes. His heart warmed at the sight of his twin sister, her beautiful and healthy looking sister. 

He then notice Diego who stood at the side with his arms crossed. “Vanya” he said again. “Still as beautiful as ever”. He turned to look at Diego and looked him over before shrugging, “you could work on it”.

Diego snorted and pulled him into a firm hug, his hand patting him hard on the back. Klaus melted into the hug, his favorite people had come to see him as soon as he had checked in. He’d only been in Rehab for a few days, clearly they had called his emergency contacts and they as always, showed up in no time.

Finally he pulled back and saw the container on the table. He nearly bursted into tears as vanya followed his eyes and beamed, grabbing his hand and leading him to the table and helping him sit down carefully. Diego followed and took a seat next to klaus while she took a seat opposite of them. 

He eagerly popped the container open and grabbed the spoon to dig in, closing his eyes with the first slurp and groaning in delight. “Did I ever tell you how much I love your soup?” He asked vanya. She hummed in reply, “only every time I made you some klaus”. 

“Well it’s true! I’m sure Ben would agree..oh shush you pine cone”. The last part came out as a harsh whisper. 

He kept eating until he noticed the white envelope beneath vanyas arm. He straightened up, “is that by Any chance my inheritance dear twin of mine?”. 

Vanya looked at him puzzled before noticing the envelope, once she did, her face brightened up more (if that was even possible, klaus wasn’t sure at this point.)She pulled up the envelope and handed it over to him, “we would’ve mailed it to you but we weren’t exactly sure where you were until a few days ago- sorry it took us a bit to get here”. 

“We would’ve gotten here sooner but crime ain’t stopping any time soon yknow?” Chimed in Diego, who smiled at the envelope in klaus hands. 

Klaus set down his spoon and licked his lips as he ripped open the envelope, he ignored the way vanya cringed when he ripped a bit of the card inside. “Oops” he mumbled. “Is this like...a way of saying you’re disowning....” he trailed off as he flipped open the card. He was silent for a long moment, his eyes flickering up and down the card over and over again as if he were seeing things wrong. 

After a very very long moment, he shouted out “hell yeah!”, scaring vanya who had been impatiently waiting for him to say something. Klaus grinned at her and reached over the table to hug her, god did he love to smell her. Okay yeah it was creepy but his sister always smelled like vanilla and Canella sticks. “You’re getting married” he whispered in astonishment. 

“You say that like you’re suprised” she laughed out. 

“Well I mean I always knew you’d get married I just thought it would be-“ Klaus cut himself off. “I uh thought it would be later”. 

Diego snorted, “and what? Get married at 30?”.

klaus shrugged “I mean yeah, yknow that reminds me, I once was going to marry a man who promised me a boat once I did, he got hit by a car a day later”. 

Vanya wasn’t going to ask if he was serious. Instead she smiled warmly (god did her cheeks not hurt from all the smiling?) and grabbed klaus hand. “I’d love for someone to walk me down that isle”. 

Klaus gasped, “me?! But what about pogo- or mom?!”. 

Vanya giggled, “pretty sure Diego wants mom to walk  _him_ down the isle”. Klaus threw his head back and laughed, Diego kicking him in the shin when he doubled over laughing. 

“No but in all seriousness, I wanted my brother to walk me down that isle so everyone can see how gorgeous he is and maybe ask him out afterwards”. 

“Oooh, any hot boys gonna be there? Hey Diego maybe you could introduce me to some of your buddies, hook me up yknow”. Diego rolled his eyes but thought for a moment, humming for a second before speaking up “I mean there’s this guy uh..jake, pretty sure he’s gay”. 

Vanya huffed, “just because he likes the movie the notebook doesn’t mean he’s gay diego”. 

“Thats exactly what makes him gay” Diego said disbelieving of what she had just said. 

“Oh you two are such a great couple, truly beautiful let me tell you”. 

“Anyway” vanya continued, turning back to klaus, “the wedding is on April 1st”. 

“Holy shit vanya...That’s in like..two weeks”. 

She nodded happily, her fingers playing with her ring. Klaus studied her for a moment, his eyes falling on her neck, he wouldn’t lie that he felt disappointment when he saw the necklace gone from its usual place. God, klaus was so sure that she was going to marry five when she grew up, he could give you every detail about how the weddding would be and where they would go for their honey moon, yet here he was staring at his twin play with a ring- a pretty big one at that, hearing that she was marrying Diego. 

Now don’t get him wrong, he loves Diego almost as much as he loves vanya, but he and vanya..well to say the least, he didn’t see it coming. 

“I’m happy for you” He croaked out. Thank god diego didn’t notice because if he had, god he wouldn’t have know what to say. 

Vanya pushed the container close to him and ordered him to continue eating. For once, klaus was glad to just sit in silence and listen to diego and her talk about their preparations for the wedding, everything was ready by now. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It happened the day that she was at practice. 

She had been quite calm that day actually, she had taken her pills when they were necessary and had eaten enough to go throughout the day. 

She remembers the phone call from Diego in the morning as she finished up doing her hair, curling it slightly to give it more of a bounce. Not like many were really going to notice but still, it was a nice touch. She nearly tripped on the way to her phone, nearly dropping it when she tried to turn off the curler- only to burn herself. She answered the phone finally, hissing quietly at the burn on her hand.

Diego of course, as sharp as ever, interrupted himself when he heard her. “Hey baby I was- wait what happened, vanya are you okay? I can be there in about half an hour if you need me to or I can call-“.

Vanya cut him off with a huff, “no I’m okay, I just burned myself with the curler, what did you need?”. Diego chuckled over the phone, “of course you did, anyway, i might not be there until tomorrow, this case happens to be a bit harder, nothing I can’t handle though” he quickly reassured. 

Vanya nodded until she realized he couldn’t see her, “oh, just be careful okay? Last time you passed out on our rug from all the blood loss”. Diego hummed from the other side, he was watching as the guys he followed tucked a gun into their bag and signaled the others to follow. “Yeah don’t worry shorty, I’ll be home safe and sound, promise”. He closed his eyes when he heard her sigh, he knew that she wasn’t happy with what he did, but she never stopped him, she only asked that he be careful and come back to her in once peice, alive.

”Oh and Diego?”. Vanya hesitated, something that she did when thinking over her words, not necessarily holding anything back but more like trying to not sound like a dick. “I love you” she finally said. Diego blinked. Why had she hesitated to say that? 

“And I just, I need you to come home to me. I can’t loose another..another person that I care about”. Diego could practically see her staring at the family portrait, her big doe eyes staring at Ben and five like they would magically reappear if she stared hard enough. His heat clenched at the thought of him becoming the next person that she stared at in lost hope, sad eyes wishing he could hold her again like he had in the past.

He opened his eyes again when he heard the car beneath roar to life as the guys pushed the poor family inside. His fingers tightened around the phone and he forced himself to say goodbye to his vanya, promising to return once this was over. “I’ll see you at home vanya, I love you”. He said the last part with such confidence, because yes, it was true, he was going to marry this woman in about a week. He needed her to know that he loved her, that to him, it didn’t matter that she was ordinary, or that she had written that stupid book. He needed her to know that he would  always come home. 

“I’ll see you at home” she whispered. 

Well she wasn’t wrong. Thought neither of them liked to call it home, that next day they they’d be forced to return.

 When she ended the call, she had let the phone fall onto the carpeted floor of their shared bedroom. She stared at her reflection for a moment, taking in her features before she noticed the clock behind her read seven thirty. Her eyes widened as she stumbled to get her Chelsea boots on and her leather  jacket over her black romper, nearly running into the wall as she searched for her purse. 

“Screw it” she mumbled, only grabbing her violin case and keys before stumbling out the door. 

* * *

 

Vanya had stood in the dark for a second, waiting, maybe someone had listened to her play, maybe someone had  _felt_ her play, but no, as always, she had been alone. 

Her sigh echoed through out the large halls of the theater, her shoulders slumping as she carefully placed the violin back into its case. Her hands lovingly touching the cool surface of the violin, her fingers running over the worn out strings.

With a final look at the empty chairs of the audience, she shut the case and lifted it off the stool with a grunt. She didn’t remember it being this heavy she mused. 

As she walked out of the theater, she shifted the case to her other hand to grab her keys from her pocket. You never knew what could happen out in these streets, hell even Diego didn’t want her to go outside when they ran out of milk. But then again, that was just diego, he was worried most of the time and only wanted her to be safe, even if that meant staying in inside most of the time. 

She toyed around with the keys as she hummed quietly down the street, she mind drifted off to diego, god she hoped that he was okay. She stopped for a moment and laughed to herself, the people walking down the street looking at her weird. Blushing she continued to walk faster, tucking a hair behind her ear in embarrassment. 

Of course he was okay she reassured herself, she knew that his work was dangerous, that what he did could get him hurt or killed at any moment. Yes, every second that went by she was worrying, playing with the ring on her finger worriedly as she waited for him to come home. “Safe and sound” my ass, she would think, sending a few text messages to make sure he was alive. 

Vanya sighed in content, she was going to get married in a little over a week, a _week ,_ it was crazy to think that Diego, the boy who used to say that real men didn’t have girlfriends, was going to marry her. She tucked her hands inside her pockets, fingers still around her keys as she walked down the street, the cool breeze playing with her hair.

She thought for a moment of what she’d do when she got home, maybe she’d make dinner, she doubted it though. Seeing as Diego wouldn’t be home until tomorrow, she could just order something for herself, he’d eat the left overs even if she told him not to. As she got lost in her thoughts however, she noticed a faint blue light coming from the corner of her eye. As she looked up, she noticed she was in front of the acadin book store, her eyes slowly lowering until she saw where the blue light had been coming from. 

As she read the headline of the news report, her heart sank, feeling as if a boulder was placed on top her chest. The horror took over her face, her hands gripping the handle of her violin case with such force that her knuckles turned white. 

“Dad” she whispered. 

* * *

 

Diego had been watching these guys for a while.

They thought they were slick as they pushed the family to their knees, screaming in their faces that they would kill them if they moved. Diego waited patiently in the bedroom, he’d be out of here in no time and back with vanya safely at home. Speaking of vanya, he glanced down at his watch and saw the time, she’d be getting out of practice in a few minutes. He smiled at the thought of seeing her when he got back, turning his hand so he could see the small design on the top of his ring. 

He heard the man yell out “give is the money or your family’s dead!” From the hall way as he dragged the father by the shirt. “Just leave us alone!” He could hear the father plead faintly, fear dripping off his voice. 

Well, Diego thought, time to work as he put on his mask. “Wish me luck baby” he mumbled as he pulled out a knife from underneath his arm. 

If there was something that Diego was good at, it was at killing people without fail. He worked fast and quietly, snapping the neck of the first man quickly as the others began to catch on.

“Who is i-“. The man didn’t get to finish the sentence as Diego drove a knife straight through his throat. Others went down by a simple kick to the gut and a knife through the head, he did like to get fancy though. Throwing one of the men through the window while grabbing another and repeatedly smashing his head into the wall. 

When the last man went down with a groan, he finished him off without hesitation, pulling the knive out of his throat with a quiet “my bad”. 

He stepped over the bodies of the men and walked into the living room, picking up the final knife from the floor as he grumbled out a “your family is safe now”. Wiping off the blood on the couch as he got ready to leave, stopping when he heard the news opening song. _Maybe something important had happened_ he thought as he walked over to the small screen.

“We’re going now live to a breaking story-“.

Diego watched as a familiar face came on the screen, grey eyes that had stared him down many times in the past looking at him now, the same feeling of anger taking over Diego’s body...until his eyes flickered down and read the headline. 

_or maybe not_

He needed to call vanya. Now. 

* * *

Vanya sat in the love seat, curled up as she watched in silence as the reporter spoke of the tragedy.

Her hands thumbed at the soft material of Diego’s shirt nervously, her other hand tapping at her drink. She looked at the vodka in her hands and didn’t think before downing the entire thing, the rawness of it biting at her like an animal. Vanya felt the ache in her throat as she set the glass down, the clinking of it snapping her out of her trance. 

She shouldn’t be crying, there’s absolutely no reason for her to be crying, Reginald never loved her, hell he probably never even liked her. She remembers his harsh words whenever she tried to speak with the others or be a part of ‘the umbrella academy’.

Yes, she was ordinary, she knew that already, yet he decided to shove it in her face every second of her life inside that hell hole she was forced to call home. So yeah, she had absolutely no reason to be crying, yet here she was, crying like a child who’s doll was stolen.

She reached over for the bottle of vodka and poured more into her glass, the sound distracting her from the fact that her phone was ringing. Vanya continued to pour her drink, ignoring  when the phone stopped for a second only to ring again after a few seconds. 

The third time however, she heard- or felt really, when the phone began to ring again. She took a final swig of vodka before reaching over to the table and picking up the phone, not bothering to look at the called I.D before answering. 

“What?” She whispered. 

“Vanya?” Came the voice, rough and tired- almost as if they had just woken up. 

“Diego..?” She breathed out, standing up and wobbly making her way to the tv, dropping in front of it as they showed their fathers face once again. His cold and calculating eyes staring back at her as if he knew what she was doing, what she was thinking. 

“You always knew everything”she whispered in a pained toned, tears threatening to fall again. 

“I always- what? V-van..vanya, are you...are you okay?”.  

Vanya shook her head, not caring that he couldn’t see her, that he couldn’t wrap his strong arms around her to protect her, to console her. 

 _Youre so weak vanya,_ whispered a voice. 

Funny it sounded so much like her father.

“Vanya- I can’t make it home today, the drive is around seven to eight hours, six if I’m lucky”. 

Vanya continued to stare at the picture of Reginald, taking in his features, his strong jaw, long nose and furrowed brows. She didn’t pay attention as Diego spoke of the estimated time before he could make it home. 

“-I..I’ll have to meet you at the mansion vanya, I’m going to go see mom...vanya?”. 

She cleared her throat and wiped away the tears from her eyes, pushing her hair behind her ear. “Okay Diego” she agreed, her fragile voice making him sigh over the phone. “Just..I’ll see you there okay? I love you vanya, try to get some sleep”. 

He hung up before she could reply, she knew she should’ve been offended or maybe a tiny bit hurt, but all she felt was numb and a tad bit relieved that she wouldn’t have to been forced to say it back. 

_Forced? Vanya he’s your fiancé! He loves you...he was there for you when five wasn’t_

“I know” she mumbled. She threw her phone across the floor and let herself fall against the couch, her head falling back to look up at the ceiling. What was she supposed to do now? 

 _Wait,_ her mind whispered for the last time before she passed out.

 

* * *

 

 Vanya woke up with a headache, her heart thumping loudly in her ears as she slowly cracked her eyes open, the light shining through the window making her squint. 

She tried to move but groaned when she felt her neck crack from last nights terrible sleeping position. 

_Well...at least I slept_

vanya stood up, more carefully this time, moving her head both sides until she heard the loud cracks as she exhaled slowly. Making her way towards her bedroom, she paused in front of the mirror to look at herself, her short hair was a complete mess and the bags under her eyes were ridiculous. 

With a slight grimace, she pulled off Diego’s shirt and let it drop to the floor soundlessly, paying more attention to her reflection than the shirt discarded as if it were garbage. Her eyes scanned her body timidly, obviously she was no Victoria secret model, but she was decent. She wasn’t thick like those actresses on the tv, or a stick like the girls in the magazines.

Vanya was...ordinary. Her breasts weren’t too big or too small, her waist wasn’t too thin or too thick and her stomach was flat as it could be.

She stared at the dark purple marks that were splattered all around her shoulder area, the hickies that Diego had left as a way of saying ‘she’s mine’. She traced the marks with her ringed finger, the rock glistening in the sunlight that shone through her windows. 

_He loves you. He wants you. He craves you._

_You’re special to him, you’re extraordinary_

vanya nodded to herself, she needed to get over her long lost ‘love’, he wasn’t coming back, she had all that she needed here at home. A man that loved her to no end, who craved her with every part of his soul, and saw her for who she really was. She finally smiled at that, she was going to get married, and no one could take that happiness away from her. 

Finally she turned away from her reflection and walked over to her closet, pulling out a black romper and a soft cardigan to go on top, it was again, raining for the third time this week. Taking a seat, she tugged on her black torrid heels, strapping them tightly before standing up and going over to her make up drawer.

She’d go simple today, she wasn’t trying to impress anyone but herself, and even if she was, today was about their father and only their father. Vanya hummed quietly as she straightened her hair and lightly applied concealer to cover her eye bags, she didn’t need Diego to nag her throughout the day that she needed sleep. 

With a final look at the mirror, vanya reached over to her purse and pulled out her keys, walking out of her room with the sound of her heels clicking on the floor like fire crackers. She looked around the living room before her eyes landed on her phone that was left forgotten on the floor. Picking it up, she wiped it against her cardigan and saw the many messages that filled up the screen.

Tucking it away into her pocket she prepared to leave the house, but again, her mind shifted elsewhere. She looked to the side of her, the large shelf where are their photos went. 

_The necklace_

Vanya hesitated for a moment before shaking her head and walking over to the many frames that decorated the shelf. Without a second thought, she reached over to the frame and ripped the small tape off. 

The door slamming behind her as she left the house. 

* * *

On the way to the house, vanya leaned into the car seat, looking at the many houses pass by until they became familiar. The same donut shop that she and...five would sneak off to whenever they felt like going off on an adventure. The same donut shop that later on Diego would take her to when she came back from practice, making her laugh as he told her stories of the past and all the friends he had made. 

Vanya shook the thoughts out of her head and rested her head on the window and closing her eyes, only to open them a second later when the car came to a halt, the man in the front mumbling out a “we’re here”. She pulled out a few crumpled dollars from her wallet and handed them over to him. The man snatching them quickly and pressing a button to open up the door for her, looking at the mansion in fear and driving away as soon as she set foot on the ground. 

Vanya stared up at the house she had grown up in, the place where she and the others had all been tormented in for years. The constant training of the others and the constant isolation for her from them when they did. She looked at the gates and her eyes saddened, shaking her head she walked up the steps, heels clicking against the rough surface of the stairs. 

As the main doors creaked open, she got a sight of the place and almost felt her heart come to a stop, the ceiling high and extravagant, the giant chandelier swaying above her.

The metal grinding against metal echoing through the empty and narrow halls. 

It wasn’t until she looked to her right when she noticed grace- her mother. She was staring straight ahead, her eyes glassed over as if she were stuck in a place she could never leave.

“Hey mom”. 

Grace didn’t answer, didn’t even acknowledge her actually. 

“Mom?”. Still mom was silent, her eyes fixed on something that she could not see, that no one could see. Vanya wanted to walk over and grab her hand, hug her and tell her how much she missed her- but she didn’t, because she knew that grace wouldn’t know what she meant. Diego always believed that she grace was capable of feeling..more than just what Reginald had programmed her to ‘feel’. 

Before she could say anything else however, Allison’s voice came from up the stairs. “Vanya? You’re actually here”. Her steps echoed as she walked down, her frame becoming clearer and clearer as she stepped into the light. Still as beautiful as she had always been.

vanya only stared, “hey Allison”. 

“Hey sis”. 

She came to a stop in front of her, towering above her even though she was still a few steps away. Allison stared for a second, her eyes trailing down to her heels, inspecting her. 

Vanya expected a snarky comment but instead  Allison stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a hug that she was well aware neither of them wanted. Vanya forced herself to relax, this was her sister after all.

vanya heard a hum from behind her as Diego stepped out of the living room, barely sparing her a glance as he passed by them, sliding his hand down vanya’s back and throwing Allison a dirty look. 

“What are you doing here? You don’t belong here”. 

Allison watched with an unimpressed look as he headed to the stairs, “you’re seriously gonna do this today?”. 

“Way to dress for the occasion by the way”she continued when she noticed the leather and the knives. 

“At least I’m wearing black” came his reply before disappearing upstairs. 

“Ignore him” vanya spoke up. Allison turned back to her with a raised eyebrow but shrugged nonetheless. 

Ah, that’s right. She didn’t know about the wedding yet, vanya had delayed the date for sending out the letters when she couldn’t find klaus adress. None of the siblings were going to receive it until a few days before the wedding, Everyone else had gotten them months ago. 

“I’m glad you’re here”she said finally.

vanya could only manage a tight smile as she turned to walk into the living room, leaving a quiet Allison behind to think.

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

As vanya stepped into the large living room, she felt the heat of the sun that came from the large towering windows brush over her skin. The sun warming her up as she strolled past the many book shelves that had once belonged to their father.

She didn’t fail to notice that a small fire had been started, the cracking of the flames becoming background noise as she came across the comic books and magazines dedicated to the umbrella academy. They were  all framed and locked away behind thick glass as if to keep children’s dirty hands off them. 

Vanya stared for a second too long before dragging her gaze to the old book shelf that stood hidden behind a large potted plant. Her steps barely making noise as she saw the familiar spine of her book- the stupid and foolish book that she regretted ever writing. 

Painfully slow did she pull out the book to stare at the cover, her younger self staring back at her with a timid smile. Turning the book in her hands, she began to shake as she flipped it open, the dedication in the beginning taunting her as she read the words she herself had written. 

_Dad,_

_i figured, why not?_

_V._

vanya’s hands trembled, her fingers hovering over the sloppily written words.

All she could think of was the moment that Diego had found out, the moment that he had burst into her apartment at the time and slammed a copy on to her table. 

_“You want to explain this shit?”._

_He ripped off his gloves and threw them onto her couch, one falling to the ground as he did so. It was obvious that he wanted her to look_ _at him, to see the Pain she had caused him._

_vanya couldn’t look away from the book._

_It was the blood splattered across her twelve year old face that distracted her from his words._

_Diego must’ve noticed because in a split second he was in front of her, picking up the book and shaking it in her face with such force and anger that she couldn’t help but flinch backwards._

_“How dare you vanya? How fucking dare you? You had no fucking right, you had no right!”._

_And then he’s shaking her, the book long forgotten on the floor as he grips her petite shoulders and digs his nails into her skin- purple bruises forming within seconds._

_“What did you do?! What were you thin-“_

_”why does it matter to you” she screams, shoving him away and stepping further from him. Tears are in her eyes and her hands are gripping the table._

_“Why does it suddenly matter what I do with my life? You never did before- none of you did”. Vanya goes to continue but her face is pale and her knees are weak, her grip on the table tightening by the second._

_“Why does it matter now?” She whispers, stumbling away from him._

She stood in silence, the cracking of the flames becoming louder and louder with each second that passed. So loud that she didn’t hear the soft thumps of pogo’s cane behind her. 

She nearly dropped the book as she heard a voice come from behind her, “welcome home miss vanya”.

Shutting the book with a loud snap, she turned to face pogo- who stood with both his hands leaning on the wooden cane for support. Walking over to wrap her arms around him and squeeze lightly, she let out a soft sigh as she melted against him, the smell of old books radiating off his soft sweater.

He simply patted her back lightly and let her go with a smile “so good to see you” he said, voice barely above a whisper. Vanya couldnt help but smile down at pogo, her hold on the book tightening when he noticed it. “Ah yes, you’re auto biography”. 

Vanya stared at the book with an unsure gaze, “do you know um” she started uncertainty, “did he ever read it?”. Her eyes coming back up to meet pogos as she awaited an answer, she knew what it was going to be, of course she did.

yet she couldn’t help but feel a bit of hope spark inside her chest as pogo lowered his eyes to the book. “Hm..not that I’m aware of” he said with a shake of his head. Vanya’s lips pressed into a thin line, of course he hadn’t, why had she expected anything more from the man? He never even spared her a glance when he would call her into his study, scribbling away madly as he threw insults at her. 

But Vanya only nodded and turned to face the large portrait of five that hung above the fire place, her hand instinctively reaching up to her neck and grabbing the small charm of the necklace. It was a small bird with a ruby as it’s eye, plain and simple but beautiful nonetheless. 

_“A bird?”. She had mumbled in wonder, scanning the simple bird who’s single eye beamed beneath the light of the rising sun._

_Five fell back onto the hard surface of the roof, legs kicking up to rest on the old and unused turbine vents. He mumbled something but vanya could barely make out the words, kicking him lightly to get his attention._

_He had only grumbled and thrown his arm over his eyes to shield them from the sun as it rose. It was only six in the morning and yet both sat on the roof waiting for sunrise, five had already laid down while vanya patiently waited sitting down- the box that he had given her safety tucked into her sweater._

“How long has it been since five disappeared?”. Vanya asked,now fully turning to face the portrait. 

“It’s been sixteen years, four months and fourteen days”. 

vanya’s lips formed into an ‘o’ with suprise, looking back at pogo for an explanation. “Your father insisted I keep track” he said, leaning more into his cane as he peered up at her through his glasses. 

“You want to know something stupid?”vanya asked with a tired smile. Pogo stared at her waiting for her to continue. 

“I always used to leave the lights on for him. I was scared that he would come back, it would be late and the house would be dark and he wouldn’t be able to find us so he’d...leave again”. 

A pained look took over her face, it was clear that she was picturing one of the many nights that she had left the lights on, staring out the large windows into the live city, waiting. 

_Little vanya, always waiting like a dog, forgotten by everyone and left alone._

“So every night” she continued, “I’d make a little snack and make sure all the lights were on”. 

“Oh I remember your snacks” pogo mused. “I’m pretty sure I stepped in half those peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches”. 

Vanya tried to smile in return but couldn’t, when she looked up at the portrait, all she saw was her number five lost far far away, unable to get back to her even as he tried his hardest.

Pogo followed her eyes back to the painting and sighed, “your father always believed that number five was still out there, somewhere- he never lost hope”. 

Vanya could only feel anger at the thought of Reginald feeling hope, he out of all people, did not deserve the right to  _hope,_ not when it had been him who had taken it away from them. “Yeah and look where that got him”. 

Pogo could only stare. 

* * *

 Pogo had left after a few minutes, reaching for her hand and giving a gentle squeeze before doing so.

Vanya had been ready to put the book back into its original place until she caught sight of the fire, the flames beckoning her to come closer with each Crack- waving at her with a friendly attitude.

Walking closer, she took tentative steps until she could feel the heat of the flames on her cheeks.

The heat making her sweat as she crouched down onto her knees. 

She contemplated throwing the book inside, it wasn’t like anyone would miss it, if anything they’d be glad for it to be gone. Vanya laughed humorlessly, “me too” she whispered, her young face staring back at her. What she wouldn’t do to erase the book from existence, to erase the constant reminder that she had betrayed her family. 

Her eyes flickered upwards for a moment, catching five’s hazel eyes staring back at her, a glint in them telling her that he knew exactly what she was thinking of doing.

Shaking her head, vanya stood up with a grunt, hand reaching out the chimney for support. 

She couldn’t throw the book into the flames, she thought, even if her entire body screamed at her to do so. Instead she dropped it on to a near by table, walking towards the bar for a much needed drink.

As vanya poured herself said drink, she could hear footsteps coming from the stairs, pausing for a second to listen. 

The footsteps hesitated for a moment, almost contemplating turning back.

Vanya wished they had, because the next moment Diego was storming into the room fuming, cursing in Spanish under his breath as he practically threw a tantrum. He didn’t notice her carefully set down the bottle and take a sip of her drink, staring at him as he kicked the couch. 

Vanya leaned against the bar, a loud sigh escaping her lips before she could stop it.

She slapped herself mentally as Diego froze from where he was standing, slowly turning to face her.

They stare at each other for a long time in silence. 

“Are you okay?”she finally asked him.

“not really” he replied. Vanya couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.

”Luther?”. She guessed.

”I don’t know. That too, I guess”.

”yeah”.Vanya thought for a minute. “It’s been kind of a rough year”.

”unlike last year?” He said with a raised eyebrow and vanya laughed. Last year they had both almost died of misery as they tried to plan the wedding. 

And then Reginald died, and now here they were, still alive.

Vanya’s laugh wasn’t a happy one; she snorts when she’s really laughing- right at the end of her laugh -and sighing when she’s not. 

Diego bounces back onto the couch and vanya’s knees bent. She puts her feet up flat against the bottom of the stool beside her. “I wonder what it would be like to be in charge”.

Diego hummed, “of what?” He sounds kind of surprised.

”I don’t know” she said honestly. “Anything. How we live? What we do? Whatever”.

Diego nodded, she could tell he was still angry, his fingers playing with his rosarie as he thought; a habit he had developed whenever he grew agitated. 

He chose to change the subject however, as he leaned more into the couch, legs kicking up to rest on the table. “Luther thinks Reginald was murdred”. 

“Hm. I’m not suprised honestly”. She says lazily.

Diego snorts from the couch, “why?” He asks. 

Vanya merely shrugs even though he isn’t looking at her, downing the rest of her drink instead of answering.

Before they finish their conversation though, a giggling klaus skips into the room, heading straight towards the bar without noticing Diego on the couch. 

He notices vanya though, because of course he would. 

“Van-van” He sing songs as he comes to a stop in front of her, vanya only managing a tight smile at her brother, hands leaving the glass and instead reaching for his hand. 

“How are you?” She asks him seriously, her eyes searching his for a lie. 

“I’m okay” he reassures her, he shows her the rehab bracelet on his wrist for affirmation.

Vanya’s shoulders don’t get any less tense, she drops his hand only to cup his face and inspect him for any bruises. Turning his head to the side and running her fingers down his throat, frowning at the sight of a large hickie.

”you’re gonna kill me one day klaus” she mumbles while he pulls away with a laugh.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t have your own van-van”. 

She flushes at that and smacks him away while she pulls her scarf tighter around herself. It doesn’t help that Diego winks at her, now sitting on a different chair with his arms crossed.

”oh!” Klaus yells. “Reminds me, Luther wants to have a uh- family meeting of sorts, not sure if it’s a good day for a picnic though” he finishes quietly, noticing the rain against the large windows- sun already long gone. 

Simultaneously, both vanya and Diego sigh.

* * *

 

Its awkward to say the least.

For a long moment they all sit in silence. Allison sips quietly at her drink while Diego sits beside her, arms still crossed as he glares at Luther; vanya can only imagine what kind of argument they had while he was upstairs.

Klaus of course is still at the bar fixing himself a drink, humming to himself and occasionally making snarky remarks, to who exactly? Vanya isn’t sure. So she sits quietly picking at her nails and ignoring the looks that they all throw at eachother. 

She can practically hear their thoughts when Luther stands up, finally breaking the silence. 

“I guess we should get this started” he says. He stands awkwardly, not knowing where to set his hands as he keeps taking.

“So I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard, at sundown”. He points at the back where the courtyard is unsure.

”say a few words- just at dads favorite spot-“.

”dad had a favorite spot?” Allison asks disbelievingly. 

“Yeah, you know? Under the oak tree”. 

He only gets stares in return. 

“We used to sit out there all the time. None of you ever do that?”. His brows furrow down as if it’s the most common thing in the world. 

Vanya can’t hold back the eye roll at Luther’s question, hiding a smirk behind her hand when Diego snorts. 

“Will there be refreshments?”. Cuts in klaus, striding in closer with a comically large margarita in his hand.

“Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner” he slurs as he waves a hand with a cigarette between his fingers. 

 “What? No-put that out, you know dad didn’t allow smoking in here-“. 

Klaus only shrugs and ignores him, he goes to sit but Allison’s voice cuts in, “is that my skirt?”. Vanya prays to god that she won’t accidentally murder someone as she notices the said skirt on him. 

_Well, at least he looks good in it._

Not really asking him but more accusing. 

Klaus turns around in fake suprise, his cigarette slightly muffling his words  “what? Oh yeah this- I found it in your room. It’s a little dated I know but ah it’s very breathy-“ he arches his back and waves his hand around, “on the uh  _bits”._

He makes hand motions at his crotch for a better understanding.

Vanya shakes her head slowly with an amused smile, sometimes she herself could not believe that this man was her twin. 

“Listen up” Luther says, aggravated with klaus theatrics already. “There’s still some important things that we need to discuss- alright?”. 

Klaus snorts and flops down onto the couch beside vanya, tucking his head into her shoulder as he takes a long sip of his margarita. He doesn’t fail to notice that she instinctively reaches her hand up to his hair and starts to scratch softly- something she used to do when he again, was upset. He practically melts under her soft touch. 

“Like what” Diego snaps. 

“Like the way he died” Luther replies, casting him a dirty look. 

“And here we go..” he mumbles. He looks up at vanya in suprise when she speaks up.

“I don’t understand” comes her soft voice, “I thought they said it was a heart attack?”. She tilts her head to the side and her eyes flicker between him and Luther, a question in her eyes. Diego shrugs and jerks his head to Luther as if saying “ask him”. 

“Yeah according to the coroner”.

”Well wouldn’t they know?”. 

Luther stumbles for a reply, “theoretically”. 

“Theoretically?” Allison asks again with disbelief in her tone, she stares at him as if he’s grown a second head.

”look I’m just saying that at the very least something happened”. 

He gets blank stares. 

“The last time that I talked to dad, he sounded strange-“. 

 “Oh quelle suprise!” Gurgles klaus as he leans back, it earns him a slap to the knee from vanya. 

“Strange how?” Allsion sharply asks, irritated at this point as she waits for him to get to the point. 

“He sounded on edge, told me I should be careful who to trust”. He waves his hands around, worried but also agitated that no one else seems to be bothered. 

“Luther” starts Diego as he gets up from his seat, “he was a paranoid bitter old man who was staring to lose what was left of his marbles-“. 

Luther cuts him off,“No! He must’ve known something was going to happen”. He’s snapping at him by the end of the sentence, glaring down at Diego who mirrors his expression. 

“Look” he says turning away from Diego, “I know you don’t like to do it but I need you talk to dad”. 

Klaus head shoots off of vanya’s shoulder and points at himself with the cigarette, his brows high in suprise as he takes in what Luther just said. It doesn’t slip past him when Allison snorts into her cup and takes an even longer sip.

klaus shakes his head around, looking to vanya for help- who only rolls her eyes, already used to Luther’s antics. 

“I can’t just call dad in the after life and be like ‘dad could you just- stop playing tennis with Hitler and take a quick call?’”. He holds his hand up to his ear as if he were holding a phone, taking a large gulp of his drink not breaking eye contact with Luther. 

“Since when? That’s your thing”.

”I’m not in the right frame of..mind”. 

“You’re high” states Allison loudly, drink long forgotten on her lap. 

“Ah Yeah” he laughs, looking back at vanya who hides a smile behind her scarf, “how are you not? Listening to this- to this nonsense”. He leans against his twin again, this time getting more comfortable. 

“Well sober up, this is important. The there’s the issue of the missing monocle-“. 

“Oh who gives a shit of a stupid monocle”. Diego grumbles beside him.

”exactly- it’s worthless. So whoever took it, I think it was personal. Someone close to him, someone with a grudge”.

”where are you going with this?” Groans klaus against the soft fabric of his sisters scarf. 

“Well isn’t it obvious klaus, he thinks one of us killed dad”.

That shuts up Luther.

Everyone else is gaping at him when he doesn’t deny it but simply sighs giving up. 

“You do”klaus cries, offended as he sits up straighter. 

“How could you think that?” Vanya asks, her voice strained as she stares him down, her finger still running over her ring as everyone else awaits an explanation. 

He has nothing. 

“Great. Job. Luther. Way to lead”. Diego side steps him and gives vanya a look. Nodding in return she stands up and moves past Luther’s towering form. He didn’t want to leave her here with him, not when he knew what he was implying. 

When she’s close enough, Diego grabs her hand and throws Luther one last dirty look as he leads her out of the room, her heels loudly clicking as they disappear down the hall.

”that’s not what I’m saying-“ tries Luther, but everyone’s already standing up to leave. 

“You’re crazy man! You’re crazy”, Klaus too starts to follow after them, picking up his drink on the way.

”I’m not finished-“.

”okay well sorry I’m just gonna go murder mom I’ll be right back”.

”that’s not what I’m saying, I didn’t mean-“ Luther sighs at his siblings, if they could only sit down and listen he could explain to them everything. 

He flinches as Allison stand up and walks out of the room, “Allison- i..Jesus”.

when the room is finally empty, he’s left in silence as he looks around with a tired frown.

“that went well” he mumbles to himself. 

Could’ve gone worse.

way worse. 

* * *

 Diego leans on the stair cases railings while vanya takes a seat in the middle of the stairs, bringing her knees up to her chin.

She doesn’t say anything as he starts to swear under his breath about Luther, “always gotta be right” he mumbles.

He’s pacing around in circles, cracking his knuckles and moving his neck, it used to make her cringe when he’d do that in the morning- scaring her even, thinking he had killed himself with how loud the crack had been. 

He stops abruptly and faces her, his arms are crossed and vanya can already tell that what he’s going to say is going to be his final decision- whether she’s happy with it or not. 

“I’m going to stay here in the city- atleast for a while”. He pulls out his wallet and hands her a hundred dollar bill, “I’ll be staying in my old apartment-“.

”you mean the boiler room?” She asks, finally looking up at him.

He ignores her and continues, “i want you to go back home, you’ll be safe there instead of in this shithole of a city. I’ll call you a taxi to come pick you up after the whole ‘ceremony’ or whatever bullshit Luther planned”.

Vanya wants to argue, she doesn’t want to stay obviously, but at the same time she doesn’t want to leave- not without him. But she doesn’t say so, she never does, because even though he loves her- saving people is who he is and what he does. Vanya cant take that away from him.

So instead she stands up and walks down onto the third step- even then Diego is still taller than her but she doesn’t care. She only hooks her arms around his neck and pulls him down, his hand resting on her small waist as she kisses him.

It’s slow and sweet, neither of them rushing it seeing as it was their last moment together for who knows how long, he’d call obviously but it wouldnt be the same thing.

He runs his tongue over her bottom lip and she parts them without hesitation, letting him slide his tongue inside as he completely dominates her. His hands are no longer on her waist as they lower down slowly, she makes a soft noise when he squeezes. 

Diego presses her against the railings, his lips moving from her mouth down to her throat, smirking at the whines that escape her. He has absolutely no shame as he unbuttons her shirt and kisses lower and lower. Sucking on the pale skin and making new marks to cover the ones from the prior night. 

He only stops when he gets to her bra, he’s definitely reaching to unclasp it until he feels her push him away with a gasp, her eyes are wide and she’s blushing as she looks around. 

Diego chuckles against her neck, still peppering kisses on her collar bones when he notices the necklace.

It’s a bird. He stops kissing her but she doesn’t seem to notice- too preoccupied with buttoning up her shirt. He’s seen that bird, he know he has, yet for some reason he can’t remember  _where._

He leaves it be when he hears music come from upstairs, turning his attention back to vanya who's panting with a dark blush on her cheeks. The music gets louder and he can finally make out the words.

He rolls his eyes because  _of course._ But he takes her hand nonetheless and pulls her into his hold.

They dance in sync just like they had many times before, their dancing is random but it just  _works,_ as they spin around each other and jump like idiots at the club, shimmying and laughing when they trip over their own feet. 

Diego’s dancing is a lot better than hers she’ll admit, he’s got spirit as he does the running man and shuffles his feet, doing a part from the dance of ‘thriller’. Vanya can practically hear the others dance in their own place, the vibrations from their feet mixing with their own with each step. 

Diego spins her around, whistling and winking at her while she winks right back, usually she isn’t so care free, but when it comes to dancing with the man she loves, her  _fiance,_ nothing holds her back from flirting with him. 

Their happiness however, comes to an abrupt stop when an explosion comes from the courtyard, a blinding blue light flashing through the large towering windows. Diego doesn’t hesitate to push her behind him as he waits for the light to dim.

It only gets brighter. And louder. 

Things are getting violently thrown across the room and they have to duck as they head towards the back door.

Diego tries to get her to stay but it’s useless as she only raises her eyebrow at him, unimpressed. 

Allison and Luther appear together as they swing the doors open and come face to face with a large blue ring that appears to be on fire. Its blowing at their hair violently and they can barely hear eachother as they creep closer trying to get a better look. 

“What is it?!”. Yells out vanya. 

“Don’t get too close!” Allison screams as she tries to pull Luther back by his jacket.

”yeah no shit” Diego yells back. 

“It looks like some sort of tempo anomaly, either that or a black hole, one of the two”.

”there’s a pretty big difference there Paul Bunyan”. 

“Out of the way!” Screams Klaus as he shoves past Diego and Luther, carrying a fire extinguisher in hand as he runs forward to try and hose it down.

When nothing comes out, he swears and swings it into the blue ‘black hole’ as Luther put it. 

“What is that gonna do?!” Screams Allison.

”I don’t know! Do you have a better idea?!”.

He runs back towards vanya when something begins to emerge from the flaming circle, wrapping his arms around her and trying to pull her back inside the house.

”woah woah woah-“.

”everyone get behind me!”.

”yeah! Get behind us”.

”I vote for running!”. Again klaus tries to pull vanya into the house, his hand tightening around hers when that-  _thing,_ pulls itself completely out of the hole and falls onto the ground with a loud thump. 

Diego turns to look back at vanya and in an instance she’s by his side, their hands clasped tightly as they inch closer to...

Vanya’s eyes widen and her jaw almost drops, her hand is out of Diego’s hold and on her neck in seconds, the cool metal underneath her palm calming her down before her knees could give up on her.

They all inch closer and in the next moment they’re standing less than a yard away from a small body groaning and standing up. 

“Does anyone else see little number five or is that just me?”. Comes klaus dubious voice from behind all of them. 

Vanya can barely manage to shake her head as five,  _five,_ stands up and looks down at himself.

Looking back up at them with a grimace, he can’t help but mumble,“shit”.

And suddenly, Diego is grabbing her by the arm and pulling her towards the door, he’s whispering something into her ear but all she can see is her childhood sweetheart, staring at them. 

“five” she whispers. 

 Life was about to get real interesting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

_April 23rd 2001_

The house was empty.

Well actually, there was nine people inhabiting the mansion, but when a certain old man that calls you a disgrace is missing- it does feel quite empty. 

See, during April Reginald would leave the mansion to travel across the world, most often leaving for weeks on end. He never really gave any warning, one morning he’d just disappear. Breakfast of course, was silent, as they played with the food on their plates and waited for the bell to ring again. 

The mansion was left to be guarded by pogo and run by grace- who’s job was to keep the children in order.

No breaks, no fun, no time outs, just the same old routine. 

When ever Reginald would leave, nothing would change apart from his absence.

one through six would train at the crack of dawn until twelve- only afterwards were they allowed to eat. It was the same routine, over and over again: Diego would snap at Luther and that would eventually lead to a fight, Allison would accidentally be thrown across the room, Ben would freak out and klaus would have to run off after him. No, Nothing had changed, not even when Reginald was a thousand miles away from them. 

Most likely, Diego would throw a knife at Luther- which would only drive Allison mad and rumor him to do something stupid like lick the dirt off his boot. The fights they had could’ve been like any other sibling fight, however they had powers- so bleeding out was as normal as it got. Training didn’t last as long though, usually when Reginald was around, he’d push them to their limit for over six hours. But when it was just grace and pogo, they were allowed to train for only five. 

And five..well five was just five. He completed all of his training with ease and got through each and every obstacle with out faltering- beating his record over and over again. He was still as cocky as ever, the same smirk on his face when ever the others tried to bring him down (by others, he really just meant Allison, Luther and Diego). But just as he expected, none of them could even lay a finger on him. 

While they weren’t the closest of siblings, they still tried to get five to join in their petty games and stupid adventures. Allison would try and make Luther jealous by asking five to a movie or a sleepover, each time getting rejected but somehow never learning. Diego would try and get him to join their prank wars or mud fight games, often getting a punch to the crotch or a kick to the shin. And Luther, big idiot Luther, would try to enter his room and sit on his bed to try and connect over his “science that doesn’t make sense”. 

It would make sense if he were smarter.

Either way, Five didn’t like anyone in his room, not unless you were Ben or vanya. He’d allow klaus to enter but only for a short amount of time before he could get the chance to pick pocket him or run off with a valuable.

Ben was free to stay as long as he liked- he never did though, often too nervous to leave the comfort of his room. The times he did however, which were very rare might he add, he’d sit on the floor and read silently while five scribbled away at his walls. They never spoke, but there was a mutual understanding between them. It was better than his relationship with any of his other siblings, all but one that is. 

vanya

Though five would never admit it, she was his favorite of all the siblings, and no one came close to her- not even Ben. Unlike klaus, who would just burst into his room and begin rambling, vanya would lightly knock on his door and only enter when she heard his distracted hum.

She was always respectful of his space, if she wanted to sit but there were to many books on his bed, she’d neatly stack them on his desk and pat down his sheets. When ever she needed something that five was blocking, she would gently lean her hand on his shoulder and reach over for said object.

Vanya was always careful to not bother him, if she thought she was being too loud she’d set down her violin and instead look through his shelf for something to read. Everything of course, was too advanced for her, but she didn’t mind looking at all the pictures and tracing the lines with her finger.

Five wasn’t ever hard on her, if she wanted to lay on his bed, she could, if she fell asleep on him, she could, and if she played with his hair while he scribbled equations in his notebook- well he wasn’t going to complain. They often spoke to each other, some conversations were short (but never uncomfortable),while others lasted hours and had vanya laughing her head off. Five wouldn’t bother to hide his smile as he listened to her talk about her favorite things. 

Vanya was different than the rest, sure she wasn’t special in Reginald’s eyes, but to him..to him she was everything. 

“What’s got you smiling like that? Did Luther choke on a raisin again?”. 

Five snapped his journal shut and looked back at his door where vanya stood, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. He couldn’t help but smile wider and drop the book onto a nearby table, turning his attention to her completely. 

“Your words wound me, can’t I just be happy?”. 

Vanya raised an eyebrow at that, letting her arms drop and pushing herself off of the door to walk over where he sat on his bed. She only stopped when she was towering above him, her hands gently cupping his face as she inspected him.

Five instinctively leaned into her touch, his eyes focused on hers, and only after a moment did she hum and nod, “so luther  _did_ choke on a raisin”. 

Five snorted, “he did but that’s not enough to make me smile, let alone be slightly amused”.

”then what is?”.

”you”. 

Vanya blinked at that, and five could tell that thoughts were running through her head as she stared wordlessly.

For a moment five grew worried, sure he had only been joking but it hadn’t been a complete lie- vanya was the only one that could make him laugh, laugh  _with_ her and not  _at_ her, unlike their imbecile siblings. He opened his mouth to say something, break the tension that he was pretty sure was there. 

Slowly a smile spread onto her face, beaming at him like a million suns as her hands squeezed his face gently. Before five could even register what was happening, vanya had leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead. 

Pulling back she patted his cheek lightly and plopped down next to him, reaching over for her book (which was really his) and flipping to her dog eared page. 

Five sat in silence for a moment, his ears heating up as his mind finally caught on to what had just happened, peeking over at vanya he noticed how calm she was- unlike him, who’s shoulders were tense. 

Vanya flipped the page, “are you gonna keep staring or are you going to finish your equations?”. 

Five flushed even harder but he cleared his throat and stood up to get his forgotten journal sprawled on the table. For a moment he stared at the journal, something was missing...

”your pen is behind your ear”. 

_Ah, so that’s what was missing._

He plucked the pen from his ear and sat back down ready to get back to his equations- only to feel a tug at his sleeve. “If you don’t mind” vanya mumbled as she pushed his arms up and plopped her head down onto his lap, “I’m gonna stay here”. 

Five rolled his eyes but nodded either way, silently going back to his journal while she read.

It was quiet for a while, the only sound being the mad scribbling of his and her flipping of a page.

That was however, until vanya sighed and set her book on her chest, looking up at him with her big doe eyes. 

“Did you see the necklace?”. 

Five didn’t have to ask who’s, he was well aware she was talking about Allison. The entire day she had been blushing and gushing about the necklace that Luther had gifted her, no one really cared but had forced a tight smile nonetheless.

”kind of hard not to when it’s being shoved in your face” He murmured, eyes still fixed on his  page. 

He felt Vanya shrug, “it’s nice”. 

That caught fives attention. 

“You like it?”. He asked, his pen coming to a halt as his eyes flickered down over to her, she blushed beneath his stare and waved her hand around unsurely. 

“I mean..it’s nice to know that someone thinks about you”. 

_it’s nice to know someone loves you_

“And I mean, you’d always have something from that person”.

_id have something to remember you by_

she opened her mouth to continue but she shook her head and picked up her book again.

“forget it, it’s stupid”.

She wasn’t talking about the necklace.

Five nodded slowly, still trying to comprehend what she was saying, he wasn’t entirely sure but he decided to ask anyway. 

“Would you...want one?”. 

Vanya paused, “I don’t know” she whispered, “never had one before”.

He left it at that, instead plucking the book from her hands and raising an eyebrow in amusement, “birds?” He questioned. 

Vanya's eyes lit up and he counted it as a win, “not just any bird, it’s a red eyed vireo”. 

“What’s so special about them?”.

Vanya pinched his leg, earning herself a slap to the forehead, she didn’t get mad though, only laughed in response.

“their music is what’s so special”She said.

”elaborate”.

Vanya pulled herself up and snatched the book from his hands, flipping through pages until she stopped at a picture of a tiny bird with red eyes.

He stared at it for a moment before snorting, 

“It’s ugly”.

“Exactly!” She relied enthusiastically, “the red eyed vireo isn’t as beautiful as a peacock, or smart as a parrot, or sharp as an eagle, or strong as a vulture but-“. 

Her eyes flicked over to her violin laying on his floor, a soft bitter sweet smile on her lips as she turned back to him, “it’s music is what makes it so special, it sings more than 20’000 songs a day, it holds a record!”. 

Five slowly began to understand.

_Vanya saw herself as that bird_

He had to stop himself from blurting out something stupid, Nodding instead with an uncertainty as his eyes bore holes into the bird on the page, it’s beady red eyes staring back at him. 

Thats when the idea hit him. 

Five turned to face vanya, her fingers were still tracing the birds eyes and he could see the hopefulness in her eyes, he didn't know if she'd like his idea, or if she'd even accept it for that matter.

_You're worth the trouble vanya_

With a satisfied smile, he slid off of his bed and reached over for his jacket, "Ill be back in a minute".

Vanya's smile dropped but said nothing, only nodding and shooing him off, "ill most likely still be here". 

Hearing that, five placed a kiss on the side of her head and disappeared. 

"So weird" mumbled out vanya, pulling his covers over her legs and settling back down to finish her book. 

 

* * *

 

  _December 4th, 2002_

 

The house was quiet, it always had been, but now it felt like she was deaf.

There was no longer any muffled music that echoed through the house, the heavy stomps of her siblings chasing each other around the house, the constant clicking of fathers watch or the wind that would often blow through the open windows- now tightly shut.  

They were all home, all in their respective rooms doing whatever it is that they did- all in silence.

No Diego screaming at klaus to turn down his music, no Luther breaking the sink for the third fucking time or Allison singing in the shower since morning. Pogo was down in his room, grace was most likely charging since her heels couldn't be heard from anywhere in the house. 

And reginald? Most likely in his study scribbling away at his old beaten up journal, a permanent grimace on his face. 

Vanya should be in her room, practicing her music or finishing up her studies.

But no, instead she's sitting on the floor staring up at the portrait of five, her hand clutching on to the necklace with such force that her fingers were turning white.

There were tears in her eyes and her sobs were being muffled by one of fives warm jackets- shielding her from the winter cold.

There's blood on her knees but she doesn't care, her eyes are only focused on his strong jaw and lips, his eyes and thick brows. She can remember the way he used to scrunch up his nose when ever she tried to tickle him, smacking her away playfully each time she failed.

The way he’d role his eyes whenever Luther would speak up or the way he’d wipe his brow when klaus flirted with him. She can still see the tiny freckles that decorated his nose, the birthmark on his right wrist, the tiny scar behind his ear and so many other things that made five himself. 

Vanya should really be in her room, but every time she tries to sleep, every time she closes her eyes, she can hear five in his room, rummaging through his things and swearing at the walls in different languages.

She can still feel the vibrations beneath her from whenever he’d drop giant books onto the floor or accidentally trip over old journals. 

She's crying and she doesn't know how to stop , all she can hear is his voice, the soft rumble when he mumbled, the raspiness of it at night when he whispered in her ear and held her hand. 

Vanya looks up at him and all she can see is how she failed, failed to keep him safe, failed to say goodbye, and failed to tell him how much she loved him.

She’s gasping for air and her vision is getting blurrier but she can’t muster the strength to yell for help or get to her pills. So she lets herself drop to the cold floor with a slam, her fingers curling around the rough fabric of her fathers vintage carpet. 

Her lungs feel like they’re on fire but she doesn’t bother to fight it, doesn’t bother to try and stand, doesn’t bother to  _care_ that she’s dying. 

“I’m sorry” she gasped out, “I’m sorry”. 

Her vision is too dark by now, she doesn’t notice the figure yelling her name and shaking her by the shoulders, she doesn’t feel when she’s lifted and taken somewhere else. 

Her eyes can only see fives face, her body can only feel fives touch on her, fingers tracing her features and hands pulling softly at her hair. 

  _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry- please.._

She can't hear Diego chanting her name or feel him rubbing circles into her hands, nor can she hear grace calmly reassuring him that she would be okay, all she can hear is the ringing and beating of her heart- the pain suffocating her with each passing second.  

Vanya felt like it was over for her, her life was going to end and it was going to be without five at her side. Her eyes stared up at what she assumed was the infirmary ceiling, she ripped her arm out of someone’s hold- who exactly she didn't know, and reached for her necklace. 

“M-mom! Mom! Sh..sh..she c-can’t breathe”. 

Grace moved around vanya’s body worriedly, Reginald would kill her if he saw all the emotion that she wasn’t allowed to show on her face, but she didn’t care- her child was dying. 

Vanya could feel the way her soul left her body, it was like rain pouring into the river- chaotic but soothing at the same time. Her eyes rolled back for a moment and her back arched, her muscles tensing before releasing and dropping her violently onto the metal table.

She had died, she was sure of it, because nothing else could explain the shower of stars she was staring at, or the cool liquid surrounding her body like a coat.

For a moment, she was at peace.

vanya floated soundlessly, she wasn’t breathing that was for sure- but her lungs felt free, like she had taken her first breath of air ever. She felt empty, not in a gut wrenching way but in a..peaceful and calm way. She didn’t worry, she didn’t panic- yes she was dead but it meant nothing to her. 

_You cant leave me_

Vanya heard the soft echo behind her, the voice sounded worried and scared, the shakiness of their tone giving away their fear. 

_I need you vanya_

Why did that voice sound so familiar? Vanya swore she had heard that voice before...somewhere...somewhere

_I love you vanya_

In a second, everything came rushing back until her, the pain, the sadness, the heartbreak- all of it rushed back into her soul and suddenly she was gasping for air and bolting up, her eyes opening wide with shock as she felt her senses come back to her. Her mind could instantly register what had just happened, her mind working at the speed of light as her senses became overwhelmed, the car down the street, the couple fighting a block away and the baby crying on the bus. 

Her hands reached up to touch her head, grimacing when pain shot down her back. 

"Vanya". 

She turned her head slowly towards the voice, her senses calming down in a second. 

"Diego?" Croaked her weak voice. 

There sat Diego, holding her other hand and staring at her hopefully, "you're okay". 

Vanya blinked, _was she though? Hadn't she just died?_

She nodded unsurely,

"Yeah..yeah I'm okay".

 

* * *

 

  _Present time_

 

"Does anyone else see little number five or is that just me?". Comes klaus dubious voice from behind all of them, his legs shaking as he inched closer with the rest.

Vanya can barely manage to shake her head as five, _five,_ stands up and looks down at himself with a grimace. Looking back up at them he can't help but mumble out a quiet "shit".

And suddenly, Diego is grabbing her by the arm and pulling her towards the door, he's whispering something into her ear but all she can see is her childhood sweetheart, staring at them.

Vanya wants nothing more than to turn back but all she can do is follow Diego, he's mumbling something but vanya can't register any of it. He's pacing again and it looks like he's going insane as he turns to her with wide eyes, wordlessly he pointing outside as if saying "you saw that too right?". 

Vanya can hear them talking in between each other, mostly just Luther demanding for five to come back inside and explain himself. 

"Get inside _now,_ you can't just appear out of nowhere and expect us-".

"shut up Luther" cuts in klaus.

"just..just please come inside" he then says, much more softer to who vanya assumes is five. 

Diego shakes his head at the voices and starts walking off towards the kitchen, his boots leaving dirt tracks on the tiled floor.

For a second vanya considers turning back and going home but she decides against it and instead jogs after him, her heels loudly clicking with each step. "Diego" she hisses, "where are you going?".

"to set things straight" he gruffs. 

And sure enough when they enter the kitchen, everyone is seated and watching curiously as five moves around in an oversized suit making a...peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich.

vanya takes a seat quietly while Diego drags out his chair loudly and sits down with a thump, most likely hoping to get a reaction but all he gets is silence. 

They all wait quietly as five trudges around the room looking for the bread, their hands not knowing what to do as Allison taps a glass, klaus pulls at his fluffy sweater and vanya scratches into the table. Luther of course, is boring holes into the back of his head while Diegos glares intensify with each step his takes. 

The conversation obviously doesn’t go well, mostly sitting uncomfortably in silence waiting for him to say something; anything really. But he doesn’t, he doesn’t give a real affirmative answer but instead chooses to do something he always did in the past; over complicate a simple answer.

Diego is fuming in his seat by the time five walks out the kitchen and up the stairs, his footsteps growing faint until they were no longer audible.

Luther on the hand, is staring down at his hands with an uncertainty, his mind hasn’t exactly registered what happened or what five said, Allison doesn’t think it ever will. She too is sitting uncomfortably, her shoulders tense and tapping at the table nervously- biting her lip and thinking wordlessly. 

“Well that was interesting” says Luther finally, he doesn’t look up from his hands but he doesn’t have to for them to understand what he meant. Obviously fives explanation wasn’t what they wanted, or needed for that matter, they hadn’t seen him in years,  _years,_ and suddenly he was back as if he had never disappeared. 

“Should someone speak to him?” Asks vanya, her shoulders slumping as she looked for a way to fix the situation; something she did way too often, trying to fix something that she hadn't caused. 

“Why should we?” Growls out Diego, his eyes glaring holes into her as he waits for an answer.

“Well I mean- whatever it is that he went through I’m sure it had a big effect on him, whether it was positive or negative, I just think someone should-“.

”and let me guess vanya, you want to go talk to him.” He snaps, sitting up and shoving the knife back into its holster.

Before she can even answer, he’s already cutting her off and pointing an accusatory finger at her.

“you know, I never understood why you always made it about five, every single thing always revolved around him. Everything. Oh Ben died? Lets do a prayer for five too! Oh Allison hit her head? Five would’ve laughed! Five this and five that, it was always about five”. 

He’s yelling by the end, standing up and knocking the chair to the floor, “Always staring at his portrait like a dog waiting for its owner, leaving sandwiches out as if that alone could bring him back. God dammit vanya, why the hell do you always make it about him!?”.

klaus is up on his feet in less than a second and moving beside vanya, he knew where this conversation was going to end- and he knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. 

“Five used to like this- oh and five used to like that! No one gives a shit vanya, not me, not anyone in this house!”.

”How can you say that?” Whispers vanya, more and more tears are welling up in her eyes with each word that Diego spits out at her. 

“Vanya, he didn’t care about you, about any of us- I bet he enjoyed leaving us; far away from this shit hole of a house-“.

Before he can finish however, vanya is up on her feet and shoving her chair away, stomping away from him and out of the kitchen. 

“You know I’m right vanya” he yells after her, his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he watches her sniffle and wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. 

“What is wrong with you?” Snaps Allison, bolting our of her chair and running after vanya, not before casting him a dirty look and a scoff. 

“Whatever” is his only reply, pushing the chairs out of his way and heading up the stairs to get grace. 

It seems that everything that day was going to end in utter chaos. 

* * *

 

 Vanya hated that Diego was right, she hated that everything he had just said was true. Yes, she always made it about five, always brought him up and always spoke of him.

She loved all of her siblings but when it came to five- it was different. She loved him but not in the way a sister loved her brother, she loved him in a way that made it impossible to live without him, loved him in a way that had her crying her eyes out in the middle of the night and dropping to her knees before his portrait. 

Vanya loved Diego, but she knew it wasn’t in the way she loved five, she hated herself for it, hated herself for being so weak and gullible. Always waiting for five, always staring up at the sky wondering if he was looking at it too, always leaving the lights on and food on the floor for him to find. 

She was weak, she knew this perfectly. 

Vanya should love Diego, they had been together for so long, they had slept together and made love countless times.

But somehow, her heart still couldn’t hold onto the idea of leaving five.

”you don’t love him” she whispered to herself, no, she didn’t love five. He was her brother and only her brother, just like klaus and Ben, her two favorite boys. 

“You don’t love him” she reassured herself as she reached the final step of the staircase, she was more than ready to just go home and get rest. That was however, until she noticed five standing in front of his own portrait; staring. 

With slight hesitation, she stepped closer and closer until she was leaning on the double sliding doors.

Her hand resting on her collar bone as she watched him silently. 

 “Nice to know dad didn’t forget me”. 

Vanya slid her eyes close and dropped her head against the cool wood, listening to his soft footsteps as he turned to face her. 

“Read your book by the way, found it in the library that was still standing”.

silence.

”I thought it was pretty good..all things considered. Definitely ballsy- giving out the family secrets”. 

Silence. 

“Sure that one went well”. 

Finally did vanya push herself off of the door and walk closer to him, even at his current age was he taller than her.

She couldn’t hide the tears that were welling up in her eyes, but five didn’t comment on it, instead staring at her intently.

”they hate me”. 

“Yeah well- there are worse things that can happen”. 

“You mean like what happened to Ben?”. 

“Was it bad?”.

she nodded slowly, the painful memories flashing through her head in an instant. God, she could still hear the screaming, the blood that had splattered all over them and Ben...pure and innocent Ben.

She shook the memory from her brain, bringing her attention back to him and more specifically- what he was wearing.

”boy shorts?” She asked amusedly.

Five rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets and shaking his head. “It’s not like I had many options”.

Vanya smiled, “you could’ve asked klaus to lend you some”. 

“I’d rather keep my dignity but thank you”. 

She gasped, “I picked out some of those”.

He only shrugged, “like I said, dignity”. 

Vanya resists from pinching him as she had when they were younger, instead shaking her head and going to move past him- only to be stopped by a hand on her arm. 

She looks down at his hand in shock and back up at him, his eyes though- they’re fixed on the necklace around her neck. 

“You kept it” he says curiously, vanya frowns at that. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”. 

“I thought..”. He paused, his eyes flickering up to her and back down to the bird. 

_You thought..?_

“It looks nice” he finally says, releasing her arm and moving past her, his hands shoved into his pockets once again. 

Vanya just stands there, the warm touch still tingling on her skin. She could’ve sworn he was going to say something else..

shrugging it off, she reaches for her sweater left on the couch and heads back out to the yard. 

_You don’t love him_

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Five was leaning against the wall when vanya stepped out of the living room, she didn’t notice at him first seeing as she zipped up her sweater with a bit of a struggle. 

“Stupid zipper” she murmured, pulling at the zipper for a few minutes before giving up with a huff. Finally when she looked up from her sweater did she see him leaning— staring back at her with an amused glint in his eye. 

“Don’t” she huffed out, picking up two umbrellas from the rack hidden behind a large bookshelf. 

“Wasn’t gonna say anything”. 

“Yeah but you were thinking it” she snarks back; no real anger behind her tone.

Vanya holds out an umbrella to him and shakes it lightly when he just stares at it, “you don’t want to get wet five”. 

“It’s not even raining that hard”. 

She sighs tiredly and for a second he thinks he won the argument, that is however, until she just hooks the umbrella on his arm and pulls him with her.

He considers just zapping away but then vanya shoots him a look and he doesn’t. 

Everyone is already outside by the time they get there, he holds the door open for her before trodding after her. For a moment, her arm brushes against his and then it’s gone, his body relaxing completely; he notices the touch has the same effect on her. 

Five doesn’t miss the dirty look that Diego shoots him, and yes it might have been childish but he can’t help but smirk back.

But not wanting to fight (he really didn’t have the time nor the patience), he stands beside klaus instead of following after vanya. 

It doesn't stop Diego from scoffing though, moving next to grace with exaggerated steps.

“Did something happen?”.

Everyone turns to face grace, confusion on their faces while she just stares back with her usual picture perfect smile. Something was wrong, everyone knew it but chose to say nothing. 

“Dad died” answered Allison, her voice soft as she spoke to her, “Remember?”.

”oh, yes of course”. 

It didn't seem like it as she stared down at the floor, a look of what could’ve been disbelief on her face. 

Allison looked at Diego uneasily, “is mom okay?”. 

“Yeah..yeah she’s fine, just needs to rest- you know, recharge”.

Vanya knew that tone, he was lying straight through his teeth, she would’ve been mad about it but she didn’t care; not anymore. 

Allison too must’ve noticed because she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of pogos walking stick.

Everyone turned to face him instead, grace forgotten for a moment. 

“Whenever you’re ready dear boy” he told Luther— who held Reginald’s ashes in hand, a clear look of distress on his face. 

He stared at the lid for a long second, contemplating just keeping the ashes instead of dumping them. But he recoils and moves the lid carefully, stepping forward and dumping the ashes onto the ground.

They fall flat.

They all stare awkwardly at the ashes, probably would’ve been better with some wind.

Luther must have seen the look on their faces because he sucks his teeth sheepishly, “probably would’ve been better with some wind”. 

“Does anyone wish to speak?”. 

Silence. 

“Very well. In all regards, sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what i am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master and my friend..and I shall miss him very much. He leaves behind a complicated legacy-“. 

“He was a monster” interrupts Diego.

They all ignore the way klaus wheezes.

“He was a bad person and a worse father, the worlds better off without him”.

”diego” scolds Allison.

”my name is number two, you know why? Because our father couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names. He had mom do it”.

”would anyone like something to eat?”.

Vanya holds onto her mother’s arm, “no it’s okay mom” she reassures. 

“Oh okay”.

”look, you want to pay your respects, go ahead, but at least be honest about the kind of man he was”. 

“You should stop talking”.

Diego turns back to Luther, seething with each word he spits out at him, “you know, you of all people should be on my side here  _number one”._

“I’m warning you-“. 

“After everything he did to you, he had to ship you a million miles away-“.

”diego stop talking-“.

”that’s how much he couldn’t stand the sight of you” diego hisses, jabbing Luther’s chest twice. Hard. 

That’s all it took for Luther to start swinging, diego dodging his fists and swinging right back at him. 

Vanya pulled grace back by the sleeve, holding her hand as Diego threw himself at luther.

”boys! Stop this at once”. 

“Come on big boy!” Yelled Diego, kicking Luther in the leg making him bend over- enough for Diego to pound his fists on his back.

”stop it!” Yelled vanya, but she knew diego wouldn’t listen to her, not after their argument in the kitchen. 

“Hit him!” Chimed in klaus, that getting him a light Kick to the shin by five. 

They keep hitting, blood is already coming from Luther’s nose and there’s a bruise forming on Diego’s forehead. Neither of them care, Luther punches Diego hard enough to have him stumbling back in front of bens statue. 

“I don’t have time for this” mumbles Five, walking away from all the commotion.

”come here big boy!”.

It happens in slow motion.

Luther goes to punch Diego, but he’s too fast and jumps out of the way— the punch hits bens statue instead; sending it crashing to the floor and his head snapping right off. 

“And there goes bens statue”. Allison rolls her eyes at their childish antics, already walking away from them and back into the house.

Vanya thinks it’s finally over until diego pulls out a knife from his leg holster, the metal making a loud whine and shining beneath the light. 

“Diego no!”, but it’s too late.

The knife goes through Luther’s coat and cuts his skin, they all go silent while Luther clutches his arm. 

For a second, Diego expects him to come at him again; but he doesn’t. Instead he bows his head and stalks back into the house, his hand still tightly clutching his arm. 

“You never know when to stop, do you?”. 

Vanya isn’t blaming him, nor is she accusing him— but she was tired of him always getting into fights, whether it was on a date night or just strolling through the park. Each time they went out together, he just had to start a fight, either with her or someone else.

He didn’t know how to talk about feelings, and vanya never held it against him, she knew how hard it had been for him. So when ever he grew angry and wasn’t able to talk about it, she was okay with it- she loved him. 

_But now I’m not so sure_

Diego’s jaw clenched as he stepped closer to her, towering over her just like he always had.

He stares down at her— for a moment he feels guilty, this woman had been through everything with him and here he was; doing her dirty. 

But that guilt was gone as fast as it had come, and before he could even think, the words came out. 

“You have enough material for your sequel yet?”. 

Vanya visibly flinched. But she said nothing, only nodded as if she were accepting something, as if a little voice in her head has just said “fine, be like that”. 

She didn’t spare him a glance as she turned away from him and left. 

* * *

 

 

Vanya popped the pill bottle open, her hands shaking as she swallowed down two of them.

Everything had been fine before today, Diego and her gone to visit klaus two weeks ago, he had taken her out for dinner where they had spoken about having children and moving far away where Reginald could never harm them.

_"We're free now vanya" Diego whispered into her ear, his arm tight around her waist and his stubble scratching her cheek._

" _We can do anything"._

They had been perfectly fine, they were going to get married and be happy for once in their depressing fucking lives. But of course it was too good to be true, of course Reginald would find a way to fuck up their lives even after he died. God he was such an asshole.

Vanya sniffled and tucked the pill bottle back into her pocket, her body was shaking but she refused to acknowledge it, her taxi would be here any minute. She couldn't stay in this house any longer, no when everyone seems to make it their job to get rid of her. 

Her attention was caught when she heard pogo coming from behind her, turning around she could tell he would try and convince her to stay. 

"Don't waste your time, diegos right— I shouldn't have come". 

"This is your home and always will be".

vanya try's her best to not snort, instead shaking her head in amusement. This place was never her home; it never would be. 

"Should I get you a taxi?".

"I already called one but thanks".

Almost on que did a car honk outside. 

"That's me". 

"I hope you know your father loved you very much; in his own way". 

"Yeah well that's kind of the problem isn't it" she looked pass him and at the empty halls of the mansion with almost a wistful look, "take care of yourself". 

"You as well ms. Vanya". 

Vanya managed to give pogo a small smile before turning on her heel and walking up the steps to leave, ignoring the way her heart pounded in her ears and the way her palms began to sweat. 

_Don't leave vanya_

Vanya ignored the sinking feeling in her stomach, instead picking up the pace— practically running down the stairs and into the taxi. Her head hit the back of the seat with a soft thump, a sigh escaping her lips and her eyes sliding close as she slightly relaxed for once. 

She didn't know where she had gone wrong, at what point had Diego realized that she wasn't worth it? At what point had he looked at her and thought 'i don't love you'. Just a few hours he had been shoving his tongue down her throat, groping her and marking her like his life depended on it. Just yesterday he had called to tell her that he loved her, to make plans and go out to dinner. Where had she gone wrong? 

Thats when it hit her. 

She had always been wrong. Just like Diego had said, she always made it about five, always had him on her mind and always carried the necklace with her. If she had just learned how to move on like the rest had, her relationship with Diego would've been fine, she wouldn't have had to put him through the pain of reading that stupid book or finding out how she had truly felt.

If she just stopped loving five and instead focused on the man who loved her, _truly_ loved her, this wouldn't be happening. Yes it's true, five was back, but that didn't mean she could go ahead and fuck up her relationship— it had been _years,_ she was a grown woman who could make up her mind and fix her own problems.

Five was different now, he had gone through things that she couldn't imagine, he too had his own problems; Problems that did not have to involve her. 

Vanya wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, breathing in the faint scent of vanilla and cherry blossoms. The ride home was going to take a while so she could take this time to relax and prepare for whatever came next.

Diego wasn't going to be home, she remembered what he had told her in the staircase. She visibly relaxed at that, and sure they had just had a fight but they had always conquered it— together. 

"We're not together now" she mumbled, her eyes getting droopy and her body beginning to feel like it weighed a millions pounds.

There was still about an hour before she got home, it wouldn't hurt her to take a short nap.

The rocking of the car eventually soothed her to sleep.

_”you know like when you’re taking a bath and you sink yourself underneath the water and then suddenly you feel you’re going to drown?”._

_Diego wrinkled his nose, “no?”._

_Vanya however, nodded wisely and patted klaus hand in understanding, “Yeah and then you resurface and like yeah it was scary but want to do it again anyway?”._

_Klaus nodded, plopping himself down onto vanya’s stomach, “Yeah” he whispers._

_“You guys are so weird”._

_“And yet you’re dating one of them”._

_Vanya snorts at klaus remark, running her hands through his dark chocolate curls. She always wanted hair like his— but no, she was stuck with weasel wet hair._

_“It’s so unfair” she huffs._

_“What is?”._

_”that my twink of a brother got all the good looks”._

_Klaus bursts out laughing at that, his eyes are squinted and vanya’s pretty sure he’s about to start crying but he doesn’t stop._

_Diego on the other hand is shaking his head and taking a bite out of his sandwich._

_Vanya knows he wants to laugh but his whole ‘I’m so dark and scary and serious’ aesthetic would be ruined if he showed emotion._

_She kicks his leg anyway, trying to get his attention. When he looks at her with an eyebrow raised, she nearly melts._

_They had only been dating for a few months but every time he looked at her or touched her, it felt like the first time he kissed her or told her he loved her._

_Warm, safe, happy, and in love._

_“Van van you’re doing it again”._

_”doing what again” asked diego, his attention now on Klaus; who’s playing with vanya’s hair and trying to braid it._

_“She’s thinking about how hot you ar-“._

_Vanya makes a scandalized noise and slaps klaus across the face,_

_“Jesus!” He screams, scrambling away from her._

_This time, Diego doesn’t bother to hide his laughter._

* * *

It’s dark outside by the time the taxi drops her off in front of her house. It’s cold too.

The driver had honked the car in order to wake her up after failing to do so by yelling ‘miss’. She didn’t mind though, she had simply paid and wished the old man a good night, thanking him for the ride. 

She’s ready to go inside but something stopped her, throughout the car ride she had remembered the countless times that Diego had helped her and the countless times he had laid by her side when she cried at night.

Vanya’s heart had warmed at the thought of their first date, the way he had asked her out all shyly and how he had stuttered out the question. 

She remembered how he always looked out after Klaus, calling every rehab center in the city to make sure he was somewhere safe, and many times hunting him down when nothing came up. 

Diego didn’t just care about her, he also cared about klaus— her twin, her other half. He took him out to eat whenever he saw him, bought him new clothes and gave him a ride to wherever he needed or wanted. Vanya remembers the many times she had gotten a call from him updating her on Klaus whereabouts. 

Yes it’s true, what she had with five had been special, but she had only been a child. They didn’t know what real love was, what real trust and faith in each other had meant.

But vanya knew now, she knew what it meant to love and to be loved. 

She didn’t like to argue with Diego, she didn’t like to cut him off completely, she didn’t enjoy the nights alone in their bed either. She had messed up but so had he, and vanya would never hold it against him. 

Five was back but that wasn’t going to change anything, she was glad he was alive and well but that was it.

Five had Dolores, whoever that was.

So she straightened her posture and pulled out her phone, her cheeks warming at the sight of her background picture.

Their first date.

Vanya scrolled through her contacts until she reached Diego’s. Her finger hesitated for a moment, would he even pick up?

Shaking her head, she clicked the icon and brought the phone up to her ear, biting her lip nervously as she listened to the ringing. 

The phone rang three times before he picked up.

For a second she thought he had hung up on her as she was met with silence. That was however until she heard him sigh, clearly still contemplating hanging up or cursing her out. 

“Diego?”.

There was a beat of silence.

”I- Yeah?”, finally came his reply, sounding distracted. 

Vanya toyed with the ends of her hair, she wasn’t sure of what to say— should she apologize? She frowned at that, no she shouldn’t do that, it would only make things worse. 

_Screw it_

_“_ diego I just..”, she stumbles over her words, nervousness clear in her voice. 

“I just...I don’t want it to be like this”. 

She can hear him shift over the phone, a soft tapping noise indicating that he too was indifferent. 

“I love you diego” vanya whispers, she doesn’t want to cry but the tears are already welling up in her eyes. 

“I love you” she says more firmly, wiping the stupid tears from her cheeks with her other hand, “ and because I do— I won’t let this ruin us. I know you probably don’t want to talk and that’s..that’s fine but Diego— I cant loose you too”. 

She starts pacing in front of the house, her feet are killing her after an entire day of wearing heels but she doesn’t care— her focus is entirely on fixing this. 

“I can’t loose you too diego, and I know it sounds stupid and selfish but I need you..I need you diego”. 

Her voice is trembling and tears are already running down her cheeks, she doesn’t wipe them away this time though. 

“Vanya—“ diego pauses, he can’t find the right words but he doesn’t have to, he knows she’ll understand, “I wouldn’t leave you vanya”. 

“I love you vanya”, he says much more softly. “I know I’m an asshole but you always put up with me and— fuck, vanya...I..I’m sorry”. 

Vanya is holding back a sob as she listens to him speak, her lips are on the cool surface of her engagement ring. 

“This is so stupid”, laughs out Diego. 

But vanya can tell how relived he is, his laughter is shaky but light hearted. 

“It is” she agrees, laughing with him and wiping her eyes for the hundredth time, “it is but it’s true..you’re my home diego, you always will be”. 

She hears him suck in a breath, “I won’t be home for a while vanya...I have to stay here for a bit. Figure out a few things but...I’ll always come back to you vanya”. 

“I know you will, because if you don’t— best believe I’m going to kick your ass”. 

Diego huffs a laugh and vanya gets an overwhelming urge to lay on his chest and feel the rumbling of his laughter. 

But she can’t. 

So instead she shuts her eyes and silently prays that everything will turn out better. For her. For him. For their relationship. 

“I know you will baby, I’d kick my own ass if I didn’t”. 

Vanya preens at the endearment. She stares down at her ring with pride, she knew she could fix this, she knew she still had time. 

His tone takes a more serious tone however when a radio in the distance reports about a shooting in a donut shop, “vanya-“ he starts, but vanya is already nodding and looking for her key.

”I know diego, just be careful okay?”. 

“You got it baby girl— I’ll call you afterwards okay? I promise” his voice becoming sincere at the end. 

“Alright diego, go save lives”. 

“Te amo van”. 

“I love you too— now hurry up and go”. 

Diego snorts but nods nonetheless, “yes ma’am”. 

“I’ll see you soon”. 

With that, the phone clicks and the phone call ends, vanya stares at her phone for a long minute. She feels giddy. 

A grin splits across her face as she opens her front door, biting her lip and blushing over her boyfriends antics. 

Vanya nearly has a heart attack as a light flickers on from a nearby table, “Jesus—“. 

Five drops his hand from the lamp and gives her an unimpressed look, “you should have locks on your windows”. 

She stares back at him blankly before shaking her head and shutting the door close. 

“I live in a two story house”.

”rapists can climb”. 

Vanya snorts, “you’re so weird”. 

She should probably be alarmed or at least a bit worried seeing as her brother is sitting in an arm chair as if nothing. But she shrugs it off and strips off her wet sweater, shaking her head a bit to get some of the water off. 

When she turns back to him, he’s staring at her intently with his hands clasped tightly. 

Vanya inspects him and nearly has another heart attack when she notices the blood dripping onto her carpet. 

“Is that blood?” She gasps. 

Five shifts in his seat uncomfortably, “it’s nothing”. 

Vanya groans internally.

  _not another one_

 

 

 

 


End file.
